Amping up my behavior management may be the best thing that’s happened in my personal life in a while.
Yep, you heard that correctly. The teacher who resisted negative behavior management and stressed out over consequences is actually enjoying it, learning from it, and starting to live her life by it.
Growing up, I learned to become fairly conflict avoidant. I hated fights, and if someone treated me badly, I would choose not to confront them. Instead, I would spend an inordinate amount of time & energy forgiving that person on my own — making excuses for behavior that simply wasn’t acceptable. I would still fight, but mostly with myself — over how to resolve the conflict without involving the offending party. In my own mind, I was practicing forgiveness & patience, when I was actually just building dysfunction into my relationships.
So, what do I love about practicing behavior management? It’s based on the concept that actions are what need to be addressed, not people. I can take issue with a person’s decisions without attacking that person as a human being. I can still love & care about someone while stating that a person’s actions are unacceptable.
Slowly, I’m becoming more direct & more confident in my own expectations and boundaries. Clearly, building these skills is helping my classroom become a more efficient & safe environment, but it’s bleeding into my personal life in an oh-so-empowering way.
So, get at me, world. I will BMC you all over this place.